Notes From A Burning House

Surprise!  I brought you a cup of coffee.  Just the way you like it.

Wow!  Thank you so much. 

I used soy milk because you don’t like dairy.

I don’t?

So I put in soy milk for you.

Well, thanks for the coffee.  That’s great.  You know, I usually put dairy milk in my coffee.

But I’ve seen you put soy milk in your coffee before.

Sure, it’s happened – I don’t mind soy, I use it if there’s no dairy milk around, but if I have a choice I actually drink dairy milk. 

That sounds really confusing.  What’s bothering you, really?

Nothing is bothering me.  Thanks for the coffee. 

No, clearly you’re upset about the soy milk.  Look, I’m sorry.  I was just doing my best.

Thank you, really.  You were very kind to bring me some coffee.  It’s delicious, you mixed it perfectly.

Well, no.  No, I didn’t, Al.  Because I put soy milk in it and you don’t like soy milk.

I like soy milk fine.  I’m sorry I brought it up.  Let’s drink our coffee.

No, don’t shut me out.  Don’t cut me off.  See, I knew you were angry.

I’m not feeling angry.

Denial isn’t going to help us communicate.  We need to get through this together.  Let me ask you, when did you go back to dairy milk?

I never stopped drinking dairy milk. 

Can you put down your resistance for just one moment and see my act of generosity for what it is? 

I do see it.  Thank you for getting this cup of coffee for me.  It really is delicious, soy milk and all!

You don’t have to pretend you like the soy milk.

I’m not pretending-

You’re arguing.  God, you really are full of fight, aren’t you? 

I’m not fighting-

Heh heh heh.  Do you hear yourself?  “I’m not arguing!”  Ha ha ha ha!

Okay, hold on.  You did something very generous, and I have expressed my appreciation – and I am enjoying the coffee, by the way.  There seems to have been an assumption that I am unhappy with how you prepared it.  I want to communicate with you, in all sincerity, that the coffee is very much to my taste, just as you prepared it.  I also want to communicate to you that, in fact, I enjoy the coffee perfectly with soy milk instead of dairy. 

You’re being inconsistent.  You told me you prefer dairy, when it’s available.

Um.  Okay.

And see what you did?  You turned it all around and put the whole problem on me? 

Is that what I did? 

Wow.  You don’t see me at all.  Can you see me?  Can you just let it go right now?  Are you afraid you might cry?  Let it go.  It’s just soy milk, Al. 

I have to go to work, I’m late.

You can’t run away from yourself all your life, Al!  Get help!  Can you hear me??  Get help!    Boy, I hope that guy gets what he needs.

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