Notes From A Burning House

How did you hear about our Zen Center?

‘Twas by a scurvy dog we picked up on a ship we boarded in the Aegean Sea. He said the Zen would do me good. Say, laddie, is that Buddha made of gold?

What got you interested in trying Zen?

Seems to me, sonny, that I’ve been flying under the skull ‘n’ crossbones all me life, ever since I got knocked in the head and woke up on the deck of the ship I now command. Never gave it much thought before, but – there’s an appointment we’re all bound to keep, aren’t we? Whether it be dancin’ the hempen jig or hanging from the end of a cutlass, Davy’s going to come around, isn’t he?

Have you ever tried meditation before?

Sometimes, lad, I gaze out at the sea. I take my seat over by the binnacle and feel the boat carrying us over the seas. None of the rascals and scalliwags on the ship ever understand this, but – the island where we came from, and the islands where we might arrive – there’s no line that connects them, you know what I mean, lad?

Are you thinking about time and space?

Time and space belong to God, lad; I can’t touch any of the three.

Are they necessary?

Say, me lips are dry, lad; is there a hogshead?

Sorry. No alcohol at the Zen Center.

Cor blimey!

*SQUAWK!*

Well, I’m glad you are visiting us, Mr… uh…

Admiral Nancy, lad. I am also known as Nancy the Pirate.

Admiral Nancy. Wonderful. The simple meditation practice we use here can, I think, help you investigate the question that has brought you here.

That’s fine, lad. Fine indeed. I am wondering, lad, that Buddha there – is it made of gold?

SQUAWK!*

Let’s go over the meditation posture. You know, I have never done this with someone who has a, um, a prosthetic –

Me peg leg? Bitten off by a caiman, it was. That was quite a day. Never mind about the leg, lad, it screws right off. See?

Well, that’s convenient.

Now, I have a question for you.

Yes?

If you say this is not my true leg, you are attached to name and form; if you say it is my true leg, you are attached to correct situation, correct relationship, and correct function. Don’t make anything, lad. What is this?

Uh. Wait a minute-

*Squawk!! Already dead! Already dead! Squawk!!*

I see, lad. The waters be too shallow to anchor here.

*PONK!*

Don’t worry, lad. When you wake up and get over the headache, you’ll make a fine sailor. And you’ll have plenty of time to answer me question. Now let’s get this Buddha in me sack.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 12th, 2005 at 1:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.