Notes From A Burning House

I have to remember that my mother reads these things!  Close friends who haven’t seen me in a while also read them.  Folks may worry.  My sense of humor gets pretty dark, I must admit.  The bats in my belfry have to use nightlights! I find the cool shadow of gallows humor refreshing and comforting. I am one who would greet the Grim Reaper by saying, “Welcome!  Come on in!  May I take your robe and scythe?”  When the hangman puts the noose around his neck, I’m the guy who says, “Hey, that’s a little tight.”  This is not for everybody.

So today: lightness!  It is summer time and a time to remember there are no failures, just more information.  If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving might just not be your thing.  (That’s an old joke, but it still pays off and contains a bit of wisdom.) 

How about another joke?

A private eye and his desk fell into the river.  The P.I. survives the dive and swims to a desert island.  On this island, he finds another recent arrival who informs the P.I., with strange calm, that he had just been shipwrecked himself.

The private eye looks around the horizon and curses his luck.  “I can’t believe we’re stuck here!  What are we going to do?” 

The other gentleman simply laid himself out on the beach, stretched leisurely, and sighed.  This provoked the private eye even further and he kicked sand at his fellow castaway.  “Aren’t you being a bit lackadaisical??”

“It’s okay,” said the other guy.  “I pull down $10,000 every week.” 

“What’s that got to do with anything?  Do you see any ATM’s around here?  You’re stranded, man!!”

“Let me finish,” said the other guy with a smile.  “I make $10,000 a week.  I go to church every week.  I tithe generously.  Believe me.  On Sunday, no matter what, my pastor will find me.”

IN OTHER NEWS

“My Girl” sounds pretty funny on a ukulele.  (“Imagine” sounds even funnier.)

Sometimes, in the delirium of repetition and the hilarity of my fat-fingered fretting, alternate lyrics come, such as these new lyrics for “My Girl…”

I’ve got bad craaaamps

And I feel such fatigue;

And I’m bloating so bad

I need some relief…

I guess you’d say

What can make cramps go away?

It’s Midol….Midol…Midol….

Talkin’ ‘bout – Midol!

Midol!

Great.  Jokes about pain and suffering.  That’s lightening things up.

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